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Fo Sho.. [06 Sep 2005|11:01am] I am engaged. Getting married on Oct. 31, at night, in a graveyard. It is going to be awesome. and if you don't know... getting married to Sarah Cook. Peace homies. 6 psychos in the mosh

[26 Jul 2005|02:19pm] I have my Flying V back, thanks to Russ. I love that kid. Chris... about that ... thing. Cow heads, brains, and vomit is all I can say. I sold that to my neighbor for 20. 3 psychos in the mosh

[23 Jul 2005|12:27am] Tonight at work, I had to go out to Jamie's jeep and bring in a couple trays of buns that we borrowed from Gains School Rd. My arms were full and I was beating on the glass door with the buns because Stacy was less than 10 ft away mopping. After "knocking" eight times, I set them down and opened the door myself. I said, "Didn't you hear me knocking?" Stacy turned to me and he said, "Man, I was mopping." I just stood there confused.... 2 psychos in the mosh

[19 Jul 2005|09:13pm] Russ, Lourdes, Sarah, Neil Z., Wesley, my brother and I are going Kayaking down the Broad River tomorrow. I can't wait. Becki, I will call you as promised tonight.... promise.! 5 psychos in the mosh

[17 Jul 2005|03:41pm] I am buying Nick Skillman's drum set. A Pearl 5-Peice for only $300. Not a bad deal considering that one of those usually runs about $799. I have already paid him $100 and am hoping to get the rest of it for my birthday. That would be nice. Only 2 more days and I am 18!!!!!! 1 psycho in the mosh

[17 Jul 2005|03:35pm] [ mood | curious ] [ music | In Flames - Episode 666 ] Where do butterflys go when it rains? 4 psychos in the mosh

[15 Jul 2005|10:03pm] Almost 18.... wooo. Gesso, did Jarasen tell you about me jumping up and down? Ask him. I need to talk to Becki. Oh... 7 psychos in the mosh

[02 Jul 2005|02:42am] How many times must I say I'm not sorry? And how many ways can I show I don't care? 3 psychos in the mosh

[23 Jun 2005|09:47pm] Going to go hang out with Michael and Kayla. Those guys are pure love. Kara is a fucking badass. She deserves better that what she has right now... 2 psychos in the mosh

O.B.C.D [10 May 2005|06:36pm] The Penguin will own you all in about 3 years. Beware of the penguin... 2 psychos in the mosh

[08 May 2005|02:15pm] Friday night was the most boring thing... ever. I had to close the store with four of the worst people that work there. But, I called Elaine and talked to her on McDonald's phone for about 45 minutes. That was the highlight of my weekend. I couldn't be happier. Just hearing her voice again. *sigh* Went with Chris, Brian, Steven, Matt, and Cory to the bowling alley last night. That was cool. Brian and I almost died, then we almost hit Chris with the car, but it all worked out and we were laughing at it. Chris = coolness. I can't get Elaine out of my thoughts. I don't know why. My Aunt Joan is moving away. I talked to her for a little bit today. I am fighting off a head cold. I took some sinus medicine today, but I hated to. I have had it for half a week now. Work today will suck, but at least I can't smell the food. That is the only plus side that I can see. Ashley, you had better be in fourth period tommorow! He he. Lourdes and I are going to the Senior Supper tommorow. I still have to cash my paycheck, that is already spent. I hate having bills. I don't know how I managed to talk Lourdes into going to a school event, but I did. So, that is cool. Since Saturday morning, our mail lady thinks that I am stalking her. Weirdo. Since there is enough random crap up here already, I leave with the note: FFR. I am so, so, so sad. "I can't complain, but sometimes I still do... Life's been good to me so far." 1 psycho in the mosh

[02 May 2005|12:46pm] I wanted to go with the Historical Society on Saturday, but there is no way that I could. *Sigh* Elaine: I will call you SOON. Expect it within a week. I am both anxious ... and scared to. Really. I am still waiting for my tax return to come back, I could really use the money. Next pay check I am going to start putting away for college, like I should have started doing months ago. I am just so freakin' lazy. I really want to major in German, but from there... is a blur. I have no plan or direction. McDonald's owes me $10. Warm and Fuzzies!!!@ I stayed up until 4:47 this morning just thinking. I took a walk around the woods last night and that helped. I really just need something. Something or someone. I AM TIRED OF MY PAST HAUNTING ME! I would love to move away where no one knew me and I could start anew. Redo all of the mistakes that I have made. Get away from all of the gossip that goes on behind my back. Maybe college will be just what I need. Next year, I will get back around 7K back on my taxes. I will be a homeowner, head of household and a full time student. Boo ya ha ha. Starting Today... I am dropping everything. Everything. I am going to try to reverse time and go back and try to earn the respect of my friends again. Because, in the end, that is all that matters. Is that your friends stay beside you. I am "banned" from every family gathering because no one in my family likes me or my dad. I heard they even disowned Mary, again. I hate my family. Just because we are not their idea of a perfect family, they act as if we do not exist. The only family that will even speak to us in Granny and Aunt Bobbie. Granny is ill and will not be around much longer... I am moving to Colorado. I like Colorado. 2 psychos in the mosh

[29 Apr 2005|12:44am] Der Wahnsinn ist nur eine schmale Brücke die Ufer sind Vernunft und Trieb 1 psycho in the mosh

My Chest Hurts from this Burden I Carry. [28 Apr 2005|11:23pm] I don't know what to do. I really don't. What will happen when it is all over? What started the cogs of time turning the opposite direction? When the pages have been torn from the Book of Life with the hands of the Unforgiving. I feel as if I am just running in circles. This cycle of life in which I live is self-perpetuating. A downward spiral of endless despair. It seems as though the only thing I have left is my writing, now just scibles of madman. I wish I could turn back the clock. Go back to the better days. Back when Hershie was here. When my parents were still keeping up the facade of a "happy family." The yard was clean. The cars running and my brother and I getting along. Now everything is gone. The yard is overgrown with weeds and trash. Four broken down cars and parents are divorced. I am trying so hard to make something of myself. Trying to break the chains and escape. It is hard though. I know that it will not be easy and I do not want it to be. Everytime I thing I have hit bottom, someone throws me a shovel. Like an idiot, I just dig myself deeper. My paycheck on Friday was for $321. Dad took $285. I do not yet know why either. I couldn't say no. The man that has raised me and stood by my side, how could I? I know that in retrospect that I should have. I went to Florida last weekend hoping for a little escape from reality. Just to leave my problems for a day or two. In stead, I have more problems piled onto my plate. I won't tell, but some people know. What money I did have from my check went to fix Jamie's Jeep when we broke down on the beaches of St. Augustine. I am broke and I havn't been paid for a week. This is how it always is. I never seem to have anything. Or, rather, anything I have is quickly taken from my grasp. It is enough to make anyone go crazy. Yes, I did smoke with her. I do not regret it. I probably shouldn't have, but it is a decision that I made and I would probably do it again. At the time, life sucked. Someone left me because I was an idiot and it seemed as though I had no one to turn to. No one. I probably could have leaned on my friends, but in my heart I didn't think that I could. I felt as though everyone looked at my problems as 'same old, same old' and that they wouldn't want to ear the things that have been going on for years not. Not again at least. Now I have lost the respect of one of my best friends. Class even isn't the same. We talk everyday and still I feel like there is a underlining hatred that is unescapable. What a way to start every single school day, huh? It seems as though every does it. Smokes. Be it cigarettes or pot. It affects different people in different ways. But, I go against the current once and it follows me. I could give you a whole list of people, of people who you would never expect to do it, but I won't. It seems as though the double standard is pressed up against me. Why? Does everyone have such high expectations for me that I do not know about? I wish I did. Gott! There are two people living in me: The person that I was and the person that I have become. I need help... 6 psychos in the mosh

[28 Apr 2005|07:43pm] We moved into our new house. 87 Hillwood Cir. Danielsville GA, 30633 I will be both extremly sad and extremly happy when High School is over. Our school is so fucking redneck that on our senior pledge it says, "In our county, this years graduates are the first in their families to graduate. This makes this time of year very significant." I hate GA. 4 psychos in the mosh

I'm Sorry.... [21 Apr 2005|11:29am] Life has beaten me... Sorry for failing you all. 5 psychos in the mosh

Time and a Place [19 Apr 2005|12:21pm] Well, we started moving our stuff into our new place yesterday. My room is already starting to look bare. I hate moving. It is by far the worst thing. I will get used to it though. I will post my new address as soon as I remember it. Friday, I am heading down to Florida with Jean. I can't wait. I need a little escape from home and from work. Especially from work. Real life sucks. 4 psychos in the mosh

[15 Apr 2005|09:54am] Ok,... I am fed up with this shit with Sarah. I am tired of it. Fuck highschool and all of the shit that goes with it. If you "hate me", or I have "Betrayed my friends after years of friendship" or "stabbed you in the back" Delete yourself from my friends list. I do not need this. I have been trying to move on for the past month. I am tired of her bringing everything up for no reason other than to make ripples in the water. Peace 3 psychos in the mosh

[13 Apr 2005|01:29pm] No one is willing to practice music... maybe I should just give up trying. And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad The dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take 1 psycho in the mosh

[11 Apr 2005|11:48am] Slush Puppies + Djarum Blacks = Love. Becki Wagner looks like Kate Hudson off of Almost Famous... 4 psychos in the mosh

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